Red is Best

                                           Red is Best

I am participating in Jenny's:  Alphabe-Thursday's Rainbow Summer- Red Theme

Maybe it's because I read the book

Red is Best

to my little girl

that

she grew up

loving

Red

so when I spotted these Red Rain Boots

@ The Gap

there was no doubt

that for her

it would be love @ first sight

and

first jump

Happy Birthday Christina

A Day of Play - kayaking Banff to Canmore

Banff to Canmore Paddle July/ 2010

 Started @ Bow Falls in Banff, Alberta

Distance of trip:  22 km

There were 6 solo boats and two doubles

This part of the Bow River is class II- some wavey sections

We feel so blessed to have three Rivers to paddle near to us

Bow River, Elbow River & Kananaskis River

Me taking a rest in an Eddy- slow moving water that moves in the opposite

direction that the river is running

I'm paddling an 11' Dagger kayak that

is very comfortable/stable and very durable

The 10 of us take a lunch break

It was a cloudy, threatening to rain kinda day but

not a drop was dropped

and the clouds made it such a perfect temperature

Hubby sitting in Eddy against dunes

Wish I would have got a picture of the hodoos behind him
the hodoos are a sandstone rock formation caused by erosion
that look like sand spires

The cherry on the cake was first the sound of the train's whistle then

the sight of the red engine against the backdrop of the mountains.

It makes for such a nostalgic moment

A penny for your thoughts

In the back of my mind

sits

a well used, long treasured thought

which is:

'You aren't really hearing me.'

yet

when I ask: 'why do I want you to hear me?'

there lies a wanting to be understood

and

when I ask: 'why do I want you to understand me?'

there is a need for acceptance

and

 beneath this need for acceptance?

sits

a yearning for the freedom to stop trying to be enough

and

yet once again as I go deeper

 there is

an innermost desire

 for

Inner Peace.

The thought

'You aren't really hearing me.'

now is really my wake up call

to make a choice

to keep this thought

or

to choose

Inner Peace

the true

asking

This was a hard concept for me to express because it exposes one of the core beliefs that I carry that keeps me stuck as the victim. 

Also there is embarrassment because of all the times I have expressed this thought 'You aren't really hearing me' to the people I hold most dear  in a way that has come out as attack or defense. 

The good news is that this belief  does catch me and takes for for a ride once in awhile but not as often and/or for as long as it used to.  The extra bonus is that when I let go of my neediness to be heard people (mostly my hubby) are more keen to hear me. 

I wonder what thoughts replay themselves in the back of your mind and how you see them.